


Molting

by kitty_pryde_bi_pride



Series: spider tendencies [4]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Awesome Clint Barton, Ceiling Vent Clint Barton, Gen, Peter Parker Acts Like a Spider, Peter Parker is a Little Shit, Peter Parker is a Mess, Prank Wars, Spider Shenanigans, spider facts!
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:20:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25825792
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kitty_pryde_bi_pride/pseuds/kitty_pryde_bi_pride
Summary: Some spiders molt to grow.
Relationships: Clint Barton & Peter Parker
Series: spider tendencies [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1859734
Comments: 14
Kudos: 519
Collections: MCU Stories, More Spidery Spiderman





	Molting

**Author's Note:**

> i hope everyone enjoys this! it's a lot more crack-y than some of the other chapters so far, but i think it turned out pretty fun
> 
> part of the prank was inspired by the parent trap with lindsay lohan so that's fun!- let me know if you can tell lol
> 
> plz drop comments/kudos/suggestions for more spider facts if you want to- it means a lot!
> 
> and this prompt was suggested by the commenter Wow!

“Psst, hey kid!” Clint shout-whispers from the vent. No movement below. “Hey, kid, I’m talking to you!” Still no reaction. He shimmies forward – he won’t admit it’s a tight fit, but hey, he’s fairly broad-shouldered and it’s a small vent – so his head is directly above the grated opening and tries again. “Spider-Boy, _look up_ , I’m—”

The vent shudders and falls apart, dropping Clint and a pile of metal directly onto Peter’s bed. The kid in question turns slowly in his desk chair, takes this disaster in for a long moment, then pulls out his earbuds. “May I help you?”

Clint forces himself to his feet and hops off the bed, brushing dust off himself and attempting to look dignified. He’s an adult, _damnit_ , he will not let himself feel weak in front of this child! He attempts to smile convincingly as one final piece of ceiling vent falls onto the ground. “As a matter of fact, you may.”

Peter raises both eyebrows, for just a moment, then snorts and grins back at Clint. “Does this have anything to do with the surprise prank war you’ve been dropping hints about all week?”

His jaw drops and he stares. “How did you know about that?!” He had worked so hard to prepare the details, to keep it completely hidden- he hadn’t even mentioned it to Natasha!

“You did all your planning in the vents. Steve, Tony, Vision, Wan—”

“Okay, stop,” Clint grits out, frowning. “You don’t have to list off everyone in this house with super-hearing, access to the security system, or mind powers. I am a spy, I know how to keep a secret, it’s not my fault I live with a bunch of superhumans!”

“Well, I thought you had everything planned out,” Peter starts, still smirking more than Clint would like. This kid is way too proud of himself for figuring out the secret. “What are you in my room for?”

It’s time to make his sales pitch to get the kid on his side: the make or break moment for the whole plan. If he fails here, Peter could go to Tony or Rhodey or _god forbid_ Pepper or Natasha and spill the beans on everything, so he needs to make it good.

“I want to recruit you for the prank war,” he begins and, given the kid’s intrigued look, continues excitedly. “You’re like, the ideal pranking buddy. You’ve got super hearing, so we’ll know if anyone’s in the area, you’re super-strong and super-sticky—”

“Ugh, I wish people would _stop_ saying that!”

“—so you’ll be able to help set up traps, and you’re small enough to hide and fit in vents easily! Plus, you’ve got the implicit trust of pretty much everyone in the tower- specifically, Tony, so you can get access to the whole tower.”

Peter looks at him dubiously. “You’re saying you want me to use my extensive power-set, that I’ve dedicated towards responsible use and protecting people, to play pranks for my teammates and abuse the faith they have in me to make these jokes more effective?”

No choice now but to commit. “…Yes.”

“Dude, I’m so in,” Peter says, jumping to his feet and holding his hand out for Clint to shake. “Partners in crime?”

“Oh, absolutely,” Clint answers, clasping Peter’s hand and grinning evilly. “This is going to be amazing, wait till you hear what I’ve got planned—”

“I’ve got an idea of my own, if you’re interested,” the kid interrupts slyly. “Follow me.”

They walk through Peter’s – excessively spacious compared to his own, Clint should call Tony out on playing favorites – room and Peter opens a hidden door to reveal a large walk-in freezer filled with…what appears to be corpses.

Clint stares dumbly- he’s seen some awful things in his years as a spy, but this is just _weird_. “Um. What are we looking at here? I’m willing to go pretty far with a prank, but as the adult here I feel obligated to draw the line at outright murder.”

Peter blinks for a moment before it clicks and then he shakes his head quickly. “No- no, sorry, these aren’t corpses, it’s my skin!”

The kid smiles proudly, like that statement clarified absolutely anything, and Clint glares at him. “Your skin is on you, idiot.”

Peter looks down in confusion – why are the non-powered humans the only ones with an ounce of common sense? – before laughing. “So, I’m part-spider, right?”

“Do you think you’re being helpful?”

“Ah, sorry, I just mean that I have a ton of spider characteristics, and that, well, spiders molt their skin in order to grow. I haven’t shed anything super recently, but for the first year – and especially, that first week – I was molting like crazy. Mr. Stark set up this freezer for me to store the skins, just in case we need them for science, but this seems like a much more fun use of them!”

Clint takes a closer look into the freezer, proceeding with caution – he doesn’t want to be the newest addition to Peter’s skin suits, just in case – but true to his word, each hanging skin seems to be dark-haired and loosely resembles the kid.

The idea starts to take form and Clint is so glad he decided to recruit an ally in his prank war. “Oh, this is going to be _epic_.”

\-------

The next day, both Clint and Peter are excused from movie night – Clint got banned due to all his pranking talk and Peter claimed to have a stomach ache so the Avengers tucked him in early and told him to rest – and so they set their trap.

It’s going to be good, and they’ve warned Bruce about it in advance- the Hulk popping out tends to ruin pranks. Just another instance where having Peter in on the prank was essential, as the scientist was willing to bear with it on the assumption that the teenager would temper Clint’s more destructive impulses.

It’s a horror movie tonight – it seriously could not have been better timing – and Peter’s apparently seen it before, so right as the building music is about to peak and everyone’s tense, waiting for the inevitable jump scare, they drop the body from a vent.

It lands on Scott and he takes one look at it before screaming, high-pitched enough that Steve and Peter flinch instinctively and cover their ears, throwing it onto the ground in front of everybody.

The group leans forward as one, slowly, and carefully examine the body. Peter and Clint had left it out for a few hours, so it’s room temperature and a little smelly, which mean that it’s extra believable. They even picked out the most recent molt, so it looks closest to Peter today.

It’s Natasha who makes the connection first. “Is that Peter?”

Tony gasps and looks closer- just because he’s aware of the molted skins existing doesn’t mean that he was ever prepared to make that connection when actually faced with one. “Oh dear lord, I think it might be—”

Bruce snickers to himself, clapping a hand over his mouth to silence himself once the other’s look over at him quizzically.

And before the Avengers can get too freaked out and worried for Peter – and before Bruce can blow it for them – Clint springs his part of the trap.

He drops two web grenades in the middle of the couches and they go off, pinning everyone down. Steve is trying to get free and his super strength is making quick headway through the thick webbing, so Clint uses the remote Peter helped him rig to activate several buckets hidden in the vents.

Thick, oozing honey and liquid chocolate pours out of the ceiling, drenching the living room space and group of shocked heroes. He presses another button and the vents turn on, blowing cold air and – along with them – an egregious amount of feathers that immediately attach themselves to the goop already coating everything.

They sit in shocked silence for a moment, before Bruce bursts out laughing. “Oh, this was amazing- I’m so glad I was asked to help!”

The other Avengers turn to him, glaring, and his face goes pale as he realizes what he said. “Wait, no- I didn’t know what they were going to do, I swear!”

Tony voice-activates a suit to come down and use lasers to free himself, Steve resumes yanking the webbing off himself, and Natasha produces a small hand-held laser to cut it off.

They start approaching Bruce, terrifying, and Peter and Clint quietly make their way through the vents before landing in the pre-determined meeting spot- Peter’s bedroom.

Clint smiles at the kid – clearly high on adrenaline and excitement from an absurdly fun prank – and grins. In a tower full of determined heroes all fighting for justice and personal redemption, it’s important that someone lightens the mood every once in a while.

He and Peter fist bump and laugh loudly. Peter cocks his head, listening for something, then relaxes. “They’re not after us yet, but they’re going to figure it out soon.”

Clint waves off his concern. “FRIDAY caught all that on video, right?” Peter nods. “Totally worth it.”


End file.
